There is a tension in many Christian conversations that I find increasingly troubling. It concerns two things that ought to be inseparable in the Christian life: truth and love.
Some Christians are deeply concerned about the church compromising biblical truth. They see changing cultural attitudes toward morality, growing pressure to reinterpret Scripture, and a willingness in some churches to set aside beliefs Christians have historically held. Their concern is that the church cannot remain faithful to Christ while treating his Word as something we are free to reshape according to cultural expectations.
Others are concerned that the church has become more interested in defending its positions than loving people. They see hostility, political division, harsh language, and people who have been wounded by those claiming to represent Jesus. They wonder how a church called to demonstrate Christ’s love can sometimes seem so lacking in compassion.
I think we need to take these concerns seriously, although that doesn’t mean every accusation is accurate or every proposed solution is biblical. Someone may correctly recognize a problem and still misunderstand its cause or how Scripture calls us to respond.
But I wonder whether there is something beneath these disagreements that deserves our attention. Have we begun treating truth and love as though they are competing obligations? Are we assuming that greater faithfulness to one somehow requires a lesser commitment to the other?
That is an important question because the answer affects far more than our conversations about politics or culture. It influences how we understand Scripture, how we treat our neighbors, how we approach disagreement, and ultimately how faithfully we represent the Christ we claim to follow.
The Problem with the Pendulum
I’ve often thought about how people respond when they recognize something has gone wrong. We tend to react against the error, sometimes so strongly that we move toward another error in the opposite direction.
Imagine someone who grew up in a church where correction was harsh, questions were discouraged, and grace seemed almost absent. It would be understandable for that person to long for a Christian community characterized by patience, compassion, and acceptance. But if that desire eventually makes every form of biblical correction seem unloving, the reaction has created another problem.
Now consider someone who has watched a church gradually abandon biblical teaching to accommodate cultural expectations. That person may become deeply committed to defending sound doctrine. Again, that concern is understandable. But if defending truth eventually becomes an excuse for contempt, impatience, or pride, something essential has been lost.
These examples are not intended to suggest that the errors are equally common, equally serious, or even equally present in every disagreement. We would need to examine particular situations to make those judgments. My point is that recognizing an error does not guarantee that our reaction to it will be faithful.
When the pendulum swings too far in one direction, we often assume the answer must lie somewhere between the extremes.
I’m not convinced that’s the right way to think about Christian faithfulness.
The midpoint between two errors is not necessarily the truth. If one person misunderstands God’s holiness and another misunderstands his love, combining their misunderstandings will not give us an accurate picture of God.
We need a different starting point.
Rather than asking how to balance competing cultural positions, we need to ask what God has revealed about himself and what he calls his people to become.
And that brings us to an important passage in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.
What Does Christian Maturity Actually Look Like?
In Ephesians 4:11–16, Paul describes Christ’s provision for the growth and maturity of his church.
It’s worth reading the entire passage before concentrating on verse 15, because Paul’s argument gives us a much fuller understanding of what he means.
He begins by explaining that Christ has given apostles, prophets, evangelists, shepherds, and teachers for the equipping of his people. The purpose is that the saints would be prepared for ministry and the body of Christ would be built up. The goal is not simply greater religious knowledge, but a growing unity in the faith, knowledge of the Son of God, and maturity measured by Christ himself.
I don’t want us to miss that last point. Paul is describing what the church is supposed to become, and the measure he uses is not its popularity, influence, or ability to win arguments. It is Christ.
Then, in verse 14, Paul explains one result of this maturity. Believers should no longer be spiritually immature, easily carried away by false teaching or manipulated by deceitful people.
Clearly, Paul is concerned about truth. Doctrinal discernment matters because what we believe about God affects how we live before him.
But look at what follows.
“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ,” (Ephesians 4:15, ESV)
We often quote this verse when discussing how to say difficult things to someone. That’s certainly a legitimate application, but Paul’s concern is larger.
He is contrasting the instability produced by deception with the maturity produced as believers live truthfully and lovingly together under Christ. The truth is not simply something Christians possess or defend. It is something that should characterize our lives and relationships.
And notice how the passage continues. In verse 16, Paul describes the entire body growing as its members work together, building itself up in love.
Do you see the connection?
Truth protects the church from deception. Love characterizes the relationships through which its members grow. Both are essential to the maturity Paul is describing, and both are exercised under the authority of Christ.
Paul does not present truth and love as competing virtues requiring us to determine how much of each situation demands. He describes a church whose life is shaped by both as it grows toward maturity in Jesus.
That raises a question worth considering.
If our defense of biblical truth consistently produces contempt for others, are we demonstrating the kind of maturity Paul describes? And if our desire to maintain loving relationships makes us unwilling to acknowledge what Scripture clearly teaches, are we helping one another grow?
I don’t believe either response fully reflects Paul’s vision for the church.
When Defending Truth Becomes Something Else
Let me make an important distinction here.
There is nothing inherently unloving about defending biblical truth. Scripture repeatedly calls believers to guard sound doctrine, recognize false teaching, and correct error. Those responsibilities are part of faithful Christian discipleship.
But the fact that we are defending something true does not automatically make our attitudes, motives, or methods righteous.
I suspect most of us have experienced conversations where this distinction becomes painfully obvious.
Perhaps someone challenges a belief we hold deeply. We begin explaining our understanding of Scripture, but the conversation grows more difficult. The other person disagrees, questions our reasoning, or suggests that we’ve misunderstood the passage.
At some point, we may find ourselves becoming more concerned with winning the disagreement than helping the other person understand.
I’ve found it helpful to ask what has changed in moments like these. The biblical truth being discussed may be exactly the same. What has changed is our heart’s relationship to the conversation.
We are no longer simply seeking to make the truth understood. We may now be defending our pride, our reputation, or our need to be right.
Paul addresses something similar when instructing Timothy about dealing with opponents.
In 2 Timothy 2:24–26, he explains that the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind, able to teach, patient when wronged, and gentle in correction.
That’s an interesting combination. Paul doesn’t tell Timothy to avoid correcting people. He tells him to correct them in a manner consistent with his calling as a servant of Christ.
But notice something else in verse 25. Paul explains that God may grant repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.
That matters because it reminds us that spiritual transformation is ultimately God’s work. We are responsible to handle his Word faithfully, teach accurately, correct patiently, and love sincerely. But we cannot argue someone into genuine repentance through our own cleverness or force of personality.
Our confidence must rest in God and his Word, not in our ability to overpower someone else’s reasoning.
There is another consideration we should keep in mind.
Scripture is true, but our interpretations are not infallible. We can be absolutely committed to the authority of God’s Word while remaining humble enough to consider whether we have understood a particular passage correctly.
That doesn’t mean every interpretation is equally legitimate. Some conclusions are clearly contrary to what Scripture teaches. But we should be willing to demonstrate why we believe something rather than assuming that our confidence settles the question.
And when someone disagrees, we should be interested in understanding their reasoning, not merely identifying an opportunity to defeat it.
After all, if our goal is to help someone recognize the truth, shouldn’t we care whether they actually understand what we’re saying?
When Compassion Loses Its Direction
There is another danger that deserves careful consideration.
Sometimes Christians become so concerned about avoiding harm, offense, or exclusion that they begin treating disagreement itself as a failure of love.
I understand why this happens. People can be wounded by careless words, harsh correction, and religious environments where there seems to be little room for weakness or honest questions.
Those experiences matter. We should not dismiss them, and we certainly should not assume that everyone who struggles with Christian teaching is simply rebellious.
But does genuine compassion require us to affirm everything another person believes or does?
That’s a question we need to bring to Scripture rather than allowing contemporary cultural expectations to answer it for us.
In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul describes the character of love. Most of us are familiar with his statements about patience, kindness, and humility. But verse 6 adds something that is sometimes overlooked.
“It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.” (1 Corinthians 13:6, ESV)
Remember the setting. Paul is writing to a church struggling with division, arrogance, and serious moral problems. In the chapters leading up to this passage, he has addressed conflicts, selfishness, and the misuse of spiritual gifts. His teaching about love confronts attitudes and conduct that have damaged the Christian community.
And within that context, Paul connects love with truth and righteousness.
Love does not take pleasure in wrongdoing. It rejoices in what is true.
We should be careful here. This verse is not a license to assume that everyone who disagrees with our interpretation is acting wickedly. Nor does it justify imposing our convictions through manipulation or coercion.
But it does challenge the idea that genuine love must always express itself through affirmation.
If something is spiritually destructive, compassion cannot require us to pretend otherwise.
Yet we also need to recognize that telling someone the truth does not always mean immediately confronting them. There are times when a person needs patient listening, encouragement, or help bearing a burden before they are ready to consider a difficult question.
Biblical love is neither indifferent to truth nor indifferent to the person receiving it.
And for that, I think one particular encounter in the ministry of Jesus is especially helpful.
The Man Jesus Loved
In Mark 10:17–27, a wealthy man approaches Jesus and asks what he must do to inherit eternal life.
The conversation begins with Jesus directing him toward God’s commandments. The man responds that he has kept these commandments from his youth.
Then Mark tells us something remarkable.
Jesus looks at the man and loves him.
I want us to consider that for a moment, because what Jesus says next is not what the man wants to hear.
Jesus tells him to sell his possessions, give to the poor, and follow him. The man leaves sorrowful because he has great wealth.
Why would Jesus make such a demand?
The immediate issue is not simply the man’s money. The encounter exposes the inadequacy of his confidence in his own obedience and confronts his unwillingness to surrender what he treasures. He wants eternal life, but Jesus’ call reveals how tightly his heart is bound to his possessions.
And the story doesn’t end when the man walks away.
Jesus turns to his disciples and explains how difficult it is for those who have wealth to enter God’s kingdom. The disciples are astonished and ask who can be saved.
Jesus’ answer brings us to the heart of the passage: salvation is impossible through human ability, but not with God.
That is central to understanding the encounter. This is not merely an account of Jesus courageously telling someone an uncomfortable truth. It is a revelation of the impossibility of saving ourselves and our need for the grace of God.
Yet within that larger purpose, Mark deliberately tells us that Jesus loved the man.
His love did not prevent him from exposing what the man needed to understand. Nor does the passage portray Jesus as enjoying his sorrow.
Jesus’ love and his confrontation are not contradictory.
Now, we need to be careful about how we apply that example. We are not Jesus. We do not possess his perfect knowledge of another person’s heart. We can misunderstand circumstances, overlook suffering, and mistake our own preferences for biblical commands.
That should make us humble.
But the passage does show us that genuine love cannot be defined simply as avoiding disagreement or discomfort.
Sometimes loving another person means having the courage to tell them something they do not want to hear. And sometimes it means having the patience to listen long enough to understand what they are actually struggling with before we speak.
Both require us to care about the person, not merely our position.
The Problem Goes Deeper Than Our Words
It would be easy to turn everything we’ve considered into a communication principle: Tell the truth, but be nice about it.
That’s not entirely wrong, but it’s far too shallow.
The issue is not simply the words we choose. It involves what we love, what we fear, what we believe, and what we hope to accomplish through our relationships.
Why do I become defensive when someone challenges my interpretation of Scripture? Am I concerned about faithfulness to God, or am I afraid of admitting that I might be mistaken?
Why might I avoid a difficult conversation with someone I care about? Is patience calling me to remain quiet for a time, or am I unwilling to risk their disapproval?
And when I encounter someone who has been hurt by Christians, am I willing to understand their suffering before attempting to correct their conclusions?
These are not always easy questions to answer.
People are complicated. Our experiences affect how we hear certain words and interpret other people’s intentions. Some people need correction. Others need encouragement or patient listening. Many need more than one of these things.
Faithful Christian love requires discernment because people are not simply arguments waiting to be answered.
They are human beings created in God’s image, with histories, relationships, fears, desires, and burdens that may not be immediately visible to us.
And this is why Paul’s vision of maturity in Ephesians 4 is so important. He is not calling the church to master a conversational technique. He is describing people being transformed as they grow together under Christ.
Our Hope Is Greater Than Better Arguments
Ultimately, we have to look beyond our ability to communicate truth and love because neither begins with us.
They find their perfect expression in the character and saving work of Jesus Christ.
Throughout his earthly ministry, Jesus demonstrated remarkable compassion toward people who were suffering, confused, and burdened by sin. He also confronted hypocrisy, exposed false teaching, and called people to repentance.
But the clearest revelation of God’s righteousness and love is found at the cross.
Romans 3:21–26 explains that God has provided righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ. We have all sinned and fall short of his glory, yet God justifies sinners by his grace through the redemption accomplished by Christ.
Paul goes on to explain that God presented Christ as a sacrifice that satisfies divine justice, demonstrating that he is both just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.
Then, in Romans 5:8, Paul reminds us that God demonstrated his love for us while we were still sinners.
Consider what that means.
God did not overlook sin in order to love us. And he did not abandon sinners in order to uphold his righteousness. In the saving work of Christ, God’s holiness, justice, mercy, and love are revealed together.
This is far more than an example of how to conduct ourselves.
Jesus is not merely showing us how to be better people. He is the Savior we desperately need.
Our deepest problem is not that we sometimes communicate poorly. It is that we are sinners who need reconciliation with God.
And the hope of the gospel is that through Jesus Christ, sinners can be forgiven, reconciled to God, and transformed by his grace.
That transformation includes the way we think, speak, and treat one another.
We do not become Christlike simply through greater effort or better communication skills. We grow through God’s gracious work in us as his Word shapes our understanding, his Spirit changes our hearts, and we learn to walk in obedience to him.
Learning to Walk in Truth and Love
So where does this leave us?
I think we need to begin by resisting the temptation to evaluate everyone else’s failures before examining our own.
Perhaps you are someone who deeply values biblical truth and worries about the direction of the church. That’s a concern worth taking seriously. But I would encourage you to examine whether your commitment to truth is also producing the patience, humility, and love Scripture commands.
Perhaps you are someone who has watched Christians treat people harshly, and you long to see the church demonstrate genuine compassion. That’s a concern worth taking seriously, too. But I would encourage you to consider whether your understanding of love still allows Scripture to correct beliefs and behaviors that God identifies as wrong.
And perhaps you’re someone who isn’t sure what to make of Christianity because you’ve encountered such different representations of Jesus among those who claim to follow him.
I would encourage you not to begin by assuming that every representation accurately reflects him. Open the Gospels. Read what Jesus actually said and did. Consider how he treated people, what he taught about sin and grace, and why he came.
For all of us, I think a helpful place to begin is Ephesians 4:11–16.
Read the passage slowly. Notice what Paul identifies as the goal of Christian maturity. Consider what he says about false teaching, truth, love, and the body of Christ. Then ask yourself whether your own understanding of Christian faithfulness reflects the kind of maturity he describes.
And when you encounter a disagreement this week, consider asking two questions before responding.
First, what does Scripture actually teach about the issue? What in the passage supports my conclusion, and have I considered its context?
Second, how can I respond in a way that genuinely seeks the good of the person with whom I disagree?
Neither question should be answered without the other.
We are not called to compromise God’s truth to appear loving. Neither are we permitted to excuse a lack of love because we believe we are defending truth.
Our goal is not to find the midpoint between opposing cultural positions. It is to discover the truth God has revealed and express that truth with the love Christ has shown.
That is not always easy. It requires humility, courage, patience, discernment, and dependence upon the grace of God.
But it is part of what it means to grow up into Christ.
And that is where our conversation about truth and love must begin.
This is Part One of Truth and Love: Following Christ Without Compromise, a five-part series from Through the Hope of Truth.
Next: Full of Grace and Truth — What does Jesus himself reveal about grace, truth, and the character of God?
Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ESV Text Edition: 2025. The ESV text may not be quoted in any publication made available to the public by a Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be translated in whole or in part into any other language. Used by permission. All rights reserved.